Past to Present
“The past doesn’t equal the future unless you live there.”
I have struggled to figure out what to write for this next blog post. Kinda like having a baby- there is so much focus on the pregnancy and giving birth and not much attention for how to care for the human when s/he is here. Loads of effort in articulating the concept, refining the name, creating a brand and publishing Sustainably Jennifer. Now to continue to nurture it (and me) to grow!
Isis watching the sunset from our tent in San Luis State Wildlife Area Colorado.
When I chose to leave my job in NYC and uproot my family to a place that was yet to be determined I was very clear that I needed some time and space to exhale from the over 10 years of dedication to my career in one organization, to spend more time with Isis and have more time for creativity. After tent camping across the country for seven weeks we ended up in Asheville, NC- close to trails for Artemus to train and yoga studios for me to deepen my practice. I found a part-time gig pretty quickly and Artemus and I began piecing together shifts that meant between the two of us we were working 6-7 days a week. Although I was firm in limiting my availability to mornings and 2-3 days a week work quickly became a distraction from my original intention of exhaling, Isis and creativity.
The universe and my workplace conspired to get me to follow through with what I said I wanted. My limited availability became a scheduling challenge and soon I was scheduled to work just 1 day a month and the next month no days. Ok Universe...I hear you! Stop finding distractions! Jump! Do the damn thing! Stepping out on the belief that it is all available to me (as it is you).
During this transition I am just beginning to explore my truest identity. Before much of my identity was connected to my career- working for a United Methodist agency connected to my lifelong membership in the United Methodist Church and a critical part of my upbringing. If I don’t work there (or anywhere outside the home) who will I be? What will I do? Am I what I do? It felt totally normal to have my identity so intertwined with my work - so often it’s one of the first questions people ask when meeting someone new.
Guru Singh, yogi and master spiritual teacher who I follow, said something in a recent lecture that spoke to understanding identity. He said that our identity is made of our memories from the past. When we lose our identity we have an open opportunity to determine what we can be in the present and the future. It is the doorway for growth. Yaasss! I wanna grow.
I am choosing to see this as an opportunity to take another step toward creating the sustainable life I set the intention to live.